found something interesting and would like to share it...
如果你不爱一个人, 请放手...
好让别人有机会爱她...
If you don't love someone, please let him or her go...
Let somebody else has the chance to love him or her...
如果你爱的人放弃了你,请放开自己...
好让自己有机会爱别人...
If the one you love give up in you, please let go of yourself...
Let yourself have the chance to love somebody else...
有的东西你再喜欢也不会属于你的,
有的东西你再留恋也注定要放弃的...
There are certain things that will not belong to you even though you like them very much,
There are cerain things that are fated to let go even though you cannot bear to part with it...
人生中有许多种...
但别让自己为一种伤害...
In life there are of different kinds...
But don't let yourself be hurt of any kinds...
有些缘分是注定要失去的,
有些缘分是永远都不会有好结果的...
There are certain predestined relationship that are fated to lose,
There are certain predestined relationship that will forever not have a happy ending...
爱一个人不一定要拥有,
但拥有一个人就一定要好好的去爱她...
You don't have to own if you love him or her,
But if you have him or her then you must love him or her with all your heart...
男人哭了是因为他真的爱了...
女人哭了是因为她真的放弃了...
Man cry because he is really in love...
Woman cry because she is really giving up...
如果真诚是一种伤害,我选择谎言;
如果谎言一种伤害,我选择沉默;
如果沉默是一种伤害,我选择离开...
If being honest would hurt , i choose to lie;
If telling lies would hurt, i choose to keep quiet;
If keeping quiet would hurt, i choose to leave...
如果失去是苦，你怕不怕付出?
如果迷乱是苦，你会不会选择结束?
如果追求是苦，你会不会选择执迷不悟?
如果分离是苦，你要向谁倾诉?
If losing is suffering, will you be scared to sacrifice?
If confusing is suffering, will you choose to end?
If courting is suffering, will you choose to be perverse?
If separating is suffering, who will you share your feelings with?
好多事情都是后来才看清楚,
好多事情当时一点也不觉得苦...
A lot of things can only be seen clearly later on,
A lot of things you won't feel suffer at once...
2. First day of class - 7/1/09 , 11.56 pm
today is my first day of class... new lecturer... i think she should be quite ok...
got my textbook and my past year booklet...
i think i can start reading my textbook when i feel awake during midnight...
maybe this will make me fall asleep faster...
7th of Jan...
today went to watch movie...
movie that i once told him that i wanted to watch with him...
but......
never mind....
i still enjoy the movie...
although i was with other people...
i told ah ann...
if nothing happened...
today would be......
what am i thinking actually?
i don't know...
how i wish my brain is a memory card... where i can select the files that i do not wish to keep... delete it forever... and cannot be restored...
how i wish my heart is made of metal... so even people hurt me i won't feel heart break and feel the pain...
how i wish i can get away from here... far far away from here...
i just want to get out from this island...
i don't want to be stucked in this island... having all the memories...
that i do not wish to remember...
i feel sick being here...
really...
i want to get out from here !!
3. 如果 If - 8/1/09 , 11.38 am
meaningful... got it from a mail too...
如果相遇，你會感到相知，那麼，有一種習慣 ─ 叫做陪伴。
如果陪伴，你會感到珍惜，那麼，有一種甜蜜 ─ 叫做存在。
如果存在，你會感到壓力，那麼，有一種善良 ─ 叫做離開。
如果離開，你會感到輕鬆，那麼，有一種勇敢 ─ 叫做放棄。
If meeting, you would be well acquainted with each other, then, there is a type of habit - called accompany...
If accompanying, you would feel appreciate, then, there is a type of happiness - called exist...
If existing, you would feel pressure, then, there is a type of kindness - called leave...
If leaving, you would feel relaxed, then, there is a type of courage - called give up...
4. Mini cinema part 2 - 8/1/09 , 11.20 pm
tonight got nothing to do... so me and ah ann decided to have mini cinema part 2...
haha... but then tonight no food... b'coz we planned our movie after dinner...
so.. ah ann... no need to worry about leftover food d... hehe...
and won't scold me for cooking so much also... haha...
listening to songs again...
today had my 2nd lesson...
she is not that good... but i think she is ok...
this is what i think... so far...
5. 爱痛过是放弃 - 9/1/09 , 11.21 am
found this on the internet... quite interesting... if i have time i will translate to english... sorry to those who could not read chinese...
或许一个场景就会确定爱该走的方向。
爱可以是习惯，一种简单的喜欢。
但爱上你是我不能控制的, 不管想什么，看见的都是你，如果这是梦为什么，那么的清晰。
我静静的坐在你身后，我以为爱还在，但是你的沉默告诉我，你选择了自由。
爱早已随风飘扬。
只是我骗了自己说爱还在。
想见不能见的无奈；心痛无泪的傻笑；说好忘记还记得 的悲伤；
既然放开手，为什么还要驾驶我的思念，去想你；
越是想要忘记，你的一切却显得那么的清晰；
爱痛过，我知道眼泪还可以这样流；
爱痛过，我知道原来心还可以这样痛；
爱痛过，我知道伤害一个人的心是如此的简单；
爱痛过，是放弃，因为你爱的人不再是我， 原来伤害也是一种爱。
这是谁的泪都不在重要，因为你关心的都不在是这些...
6. 爱到痛了，痛到哭了，于是选择放手 - 9/1/09 , 1.05 am
interesting article...
放手是一种无奈的绝望，痛彻心扉。当曾经珍爱如生命的人即将相逢陌路时，才恍然大悟：原来，曾经以为的天长地久，其实不过是萍水相逢。
曾经以为可以这样牵着手一路走下去，可是放手了才明白一切只是两条平行线，当一切都烟消云散，平行的依旧平行。即使相隔不远，也已是人各天涯。
勇敢的代价是自己先放下，承认失败、接受无奈，轻轻地叹口气，祝福他今后幸福快乐。从此心若芷水，难起波澜。
卷缩在角落，等待着伤口平复，体会敢爱敢恨敢失去的洒脱。
幸福的感觉也许只能刹那，刹那过后，只是一个人的伤痛。
放 手的日子，总是落落孤欢，会莫名地为了一首歌，一部戏，一个情节。甚或是一句话而泪流满面。总觉得天是黑的，云是灰的。总觉得失去了生活的意义。朋友告诉 我：你什么也没有失去，你只是回到了认识他以前的日子。我释然，就像烟花不可能永远挂在天际，只要曾经灿烂过，又何必执着于没有烟花的日子呢？
我们都是凡尘男女，挣不出纠缠的情网。逃不过爱与被爱的旋涡，心碎神伤后。是漫无止境的寂寞，寂寞吗？或许吧！再也不用为了猜测他的心思而绞尽脑汁，会不会轻舒一口气，感觉轻松一点点呢？
是 真的想开了吗？可以平静的面对他？纵然心里有种隐隐的说不出的酸楚。可是我还是落了泪，哭泣是因为一个人的记忆在心里。无论怎样也不肯散去。我一次次的问 自己：“爱你我怕了吗？”答案是肯定的，我怕了，我真的怕了。千疮百孔的心，脆弱的我再也经不起痛入骨髓的折磨，于是我放了他，也给自己放了一条生路。把 他凝成一幅画，深深的刻在脑海里...看着，想着，可是不会在做画中人，置身画外，才能更好地欣赏画的美丽，不是吗？
转过头，洒脱的走开,让背影深深地烙在他的脑海里，当什么时候能够用释然的心态去回忆时，我们的点点滴滴,到那时侯或许我才可以体会到放手后的美丽吧。
上帝让我在错误的时间遇上了你，我...哭了。
它让我在正确的时间离开了你，你...会哭吗？
一次次对自己说这次真的放下了，不知道自己还能这样骗自己多久...... 爱......
7. 如果有个女孩为你哭 请你放弃..放弃她 - 9/1/09 , 1.33 am
interesting article...
如果有个女孩为你哭，你们必是已经走到了尽头。想必她还爱着你，而你却是早已经不爱她。
所以，不要因为她的眼泪而回头，不要因为可怜她而假装自己还爱她，不要因为在转身的刹那看见她的脸还会怦然心动而误以为自己还余情未了。
请你看清楚，那是同情，不是感情。
如果你因为她的眼泪而再次伸出自己的手指，会发现最终抓住的，不过是两个人的寂寞。所以，如果有个女孩为你哭，请你放弃她。
不要期望她会很快振作，不要担心她在将来想起你的时候会恨你，如果是这样，她不是真的爱你；真的爱过，便不应该有恨，时间会让她了解，对于深爱过的人，最后的，唯一的纪念，只有感谢。
感谢你曾经走进她的生命，把生命中的一段时间给她，并且和她一样投入过。虽然一切已是昨天，虽然想起你的时候她还是会忍不住屏住呼吸，但是仍然感谢你，让她相信上苍是有恩赐，让她懂得爱、不爱、勇气、纪念、遗忘、感激、以及面对失去。
流下眼泪的刹那,好像明白了很多,也看清了很多...
所以如果有个女孩为你哭，请你放弃她。
不要把同情当作施舍，不要让两个人都陷入欲走还留，欲说还休的境地。
放弃，不是离去。
你爱她的时候，是真的爱她；不爱她的时候，也是真的不爱她。所以如果有个女孩为你哭，你要做的，是祝她幸福，而不是替她找幸福。放弃，才是拯救。给她一条新生的路途，可以遗忘，可以纪念，可以离开，可以出发，去往真正属于自己的前方。
如果有个女孩为你哭，请你放弃。
8. 有一种感情叫无缘,有一种放弃叫成全 - 9/1/09 , 1.37 am
许多的事情，总是在经历过以后才会懂得。一如感情，痛过了，才会懂得如何保护自己；傻过了，才会懂得适时的坚持与放弃，在得到与失去中我们慢慢地认识自己。其实，生活并不需要这么些无谓的执着，没有什么就真的不能割舍。学会放弃，生活会更容易。
学 会放弃，在落泪以前转身离去，留下简单的背影；学会放弃，将昨天埋在心底，留下最美好的回忆；学会放弃，让彼此都能有个更轻松的开始，遍体鳞伤的爱并不一 定就刻骨铭心。这一程情深缘浅，走到今天，已经不容易，轻轻地抽出手，说声再见，真的很感谢，这一路上有你。曾说过爱你的，今天，仍是爱你。只是，爱你， 却不能与你在一起。一如爱那原野的火面合，爱它，却不能携它归去。每一份感情都很美，每一程相伴也都令人迷醉。是不能拥有的遗憾让我们更感眷恋；是夜半无 眠的思念让我们更觉留恋。感情是一份没有答案的问卷，苦苦的追寻并不能让生活更圆满。也许一点遗憾，一丝伤感，会让这份答卷更隽永，也更久远。
收拾起心情，继续走吧，错过花，你将收获雨；错过他，我才遇到了你。继续走吧，你终将收获自己的美丽。
一个永远不想失去你的人，未必是爱你的人，未必对你忠心耿耿。有时只是这种脑袋不清的强烈占有欲者，他们才会做出各种“损人不利己”的事情，还如此理所当然。
在心中如果有“曾经拥有就永远不要失去”的偏执狂与占有欲，越想要获得爱的永久保证书，只会越走越偏离。
谁 说喜欢一样东西就一定要得到它。有时候，有些人，为了得到他喜欢的东西，殚精竭虑，费尽心机，更甚者可能会不择手段，以至走向极端。也许他得到了他喜欢的 东西，但是在他追逐的过程中，失去的东西也无法计算，他付出的代价是其得到的东西所无法弥补的。也许那代价是沉重的，直到最后才会被他发现罢了。其实喜欢 一样东西，不一定要得到它。有时候为了强求一样东西而令自己的身心都疲惫不堪，是很不划算的。再者，有些东西是“只可远观而不可近瞧的”，一旦你得到了 它，日子一久你可能会发现其实它并不如想象中的那么好。如果你再发现你失去的和放弃的东西更珍贵的时候，我想你一定会懊恼不已。所以也常有这样的一句话“ 得不到的东西永远是最好的。”所以当你喜欢一样东西时，得到它并不是你最明智的选择。
谁说喜欢一个人就一定要和他在一起。有时候，有些人，为了能和自己喜欢的人在一起，他们不惜使用“一哭二闹三上吊”这种最原始的办法，想以此挽留爱人。也许这留住了爱人的人，但是这却留不住他的心。更有甚至，为了这而赔上了自己那年轻而又灿烂的生命，可能这会唤起爱人的回应吧，但是这也带给了他更多的内疚与自责，还有不安，从此快乐就会和他挥手告别。 其实喜欢一个人，并不一定要和他在一起，虽然有人常说“不在乎天长地久，只在乎曾经拥有”，但是并不是所有人都会快乐。喜欢一个，最重要的是让他快乐，因为他的喜怒哀乐都会牵动你的心绪。所以也有这样一句话“你快乐，所以我快乐。”
喜欢一样东西，就要学会欣赏它，珍惜它，使它更弥足珍贵。
喜欢一个人，就要让他快乐，让他幸福，使那份感情更诚挚。如果你做不到，那你还是放手吧！所以有时候，有些人，也要学会放弃，因为放弃也是一种美丽。
9. 10/1/09 - 11/1/09 , 3.22 pm
yesterday went to celebrate alston's birthday... celebrated earlier for him b'coz meng kuang came to pg...
we went Victoria Station for dinner... we bought one cheese cake for him... but we didn't eat b'coz all of us were too full for dessert...
the food was not bad... but i can't finish the food i ordered... although i shared with hui see...
fresh watermelon juice...
one dozen of escargots... nice... but i prefer the one i ate in Windmill...
this is what i ordered... baked salmon and lamb...
they were busy talking... i was busy taking photos...
the main character of the day... thanks for the dinner...
pict taken by hui see...after that we went to guyney plaza... me and hui see went shopping before we went redbox for second round... tested one shirt and skirt in padini... looks nice... but the skirt was too short... ended up didn't buy... if not my mom sure will nag me for buying such a mini skirt...
this main character of the day... go redbox read magazine...waste money lor...
pict taken by hui see also...there are still some photos with meng kuang's camera... waiting for him to send to me...meng kuang this old man... slow nia... haha...
went to redbox til 3 stg midnight... then reached home safely...
had a wonderful day...
10. 12/01/09 - 12/01/09 , 8.39 pm
today... is a boring day...
recently was watching one taiwanese drama ' miss no good '...
it's a stupid drama... funny... but no logic at all...
if i have other things to do i wouldn't want to watch it...
still left 2 episodes only...
thinking of what drama i can watch after that...
recently i felt so tired...
lack of rest... lack of sleep...
still having some cough...
hope to recover soon...
i think i didn't take good care of myseld... did i?
just heard that one of my secondary schoolmate passed away about half a year ago...
got a shock...
although i am not very close with her...
but it's a waste b'coz she's so young... and so pretty...
suddenly feel that life is full of uncertainty...
you won't know what is going to happen tomorrow...
i keep asking myself... what if i would die tomorrow?
will i be regret of what i've done so far?
suddenly feel... i shouldn't look back...
i don't know i still have how much time in the future...
friends asked me...
if after a few years... he comes back for me... will i still be with him?
hmm... this question...
i am very sure no matter what i won't be with him... no matter what...
chances were given... i won't give any more chances...
once lost is lost forever...
i think i deserve someone who loves me more...
although i know it's hard to get one...
do i hate him?
no i don't...
if you really love someone... you won't hate him or her...
you would thank him or her... for giving such a wonderful memories in part of ur life...
this afternoon had a chat with ah ann...
i told her...
i would want my next bf to be someone who is at least 3 yrs older than me...
but not more than 10 yrs older...
the reason is they are more matured...
y'day and today was busy downloading songs...
found one website...
busy watching drama also....
i think i found something else to make myself busy...
and i feel quite lazy to update my blog d...
today planned to go redbox... but ah ann suddenly changed her mind... said next week only go...
so whole day stayed at home only...
ish ish... ah ann...
have to wait for next week lor...
anyway... i still not yet fully recover yet... no voice to sing for so long also...
i think i should stop here d...
busy chatting...
and want to continue watching my drama...
11. 13/01/09 - 13/01/09 , 3.30 pm
today... is another ordinary tuesday...
not yet have my lunch...
not hungry... i suppose...
busy searching for songs since i woke up in the morning...
i lose weight... around 4 kg... can't believe...
my mom also couldn't believe that i lose so much weight... she is envy i think... haha...
all my jeans and shorts... now became quite loose...
lost appetite... ate less... till now still the same...
i am controlling myself not to gain weight back...
it's easy to gain weight but it's hard to lose weight...
it's time for me to search for new jeans and shorts...
but it's hard to get nice shorts...
am i too choosy?
listening to songs...
ah xian said nowadays i like to listen to sad songs... am i?
maybe...
finally finished the taiwanese drama... which ah ann said is ' bo ah kai' movie (hokkien)...
i agree...
it's the most stupid drama i watched...
maybe i should start watching 'supernatural'...
brought back from home few weeks ago...
this weekend going back home...
need to help mom tidy the house for cny...
going to meet jess and yew lee when i am back...
it's been years since i last see them...
can't wait to see them...
sure got a lot to chat...
tonight going out for movie...
irene said want to go relax herself after the exam...
last paper...
can say celebrate also...
planned to go redbox but after much consideration... we decided to watch movie... b'coz go redbox at night would cost more...
must not spend so much...
still need to buy present for alston's birthday...
need to put aside an amount for the present...
cny is coming...
ah ann decorated our pg house...
haha...
i feel the one on the door looks like octopus...
maybe when i am free later i can take photo and post it here...
i don't feel any cny mood yet...
but i am happy b'coz i'll be having holiday for around one week...
going kl for cny celebration...
cny means... getting angpows... means more money... means... :D
had to stop now...
wan to go take a nap d...
12. It's raining tonight - 13/01/09 , 8.46 pm
didn't go out tonight...
b'coz stomach a bit not well...
a bit gastric i suppose... didn't eat lunch... had to suffer the pain...
but the main reason is i don't want to be a lamp post...
coz ah ann said need to complete her assignment... then won't join us for movie...
so let KH and irene go date... hehe... without a lamp post...
it's raining now...
it's a bit cold...
last counting... i told myself...
tomorrow would be one month...
i recall what i've done in this one month...
i recall what i did to make myself happier in this one month...
i recall what was my feelings in this one month...
am i happy?
i keep asking myself the same question again and again...
am i really happy?
am i still feeling sad?
i don't know...
i am feeling depressed again...
today will be the last day... i told myself...
i can't be like this forever...
13. CNY is coming - 16/1/09 , 7.18 pm
i'll be going kl for cny celebration...
now i am a bit not happy...
coz i won't be able to meet my friends during cny...
li ching and jun huai coming back from s'pore...
ah chang going to australia in mac...
aiks...
last year they had gathering too... but i was in kl also... this year should be the same too...
can i spilt myself into two?
y'day came back from pg...
waited for the rapid to jetty for almost 45 minutes... omg... i wondered why so slow...
very hot... wasting time also...
took more than 3 hours to reach home...
TIRED... and HOT !!
but i enjoyed the scenery...
especially the sea...
don't know why... i just love the sea...
ah xian going to move out d...
sob sob...
she is moving out next week...
there will be nobody else to talk to except ah ann...
going to miss her lots...
our room is searching for another roomate... i put the notice 3 times but still no news...
nobody to share rental with...
very expensive lor...
this afternoon... don't know why... suddenly feel like want to find one day go watch sunrise...
so i asked ah ann... haha... she said wait when she is free...
maybe will ask a few more friends...
so that it's not so bored while waiting for sunrise...
planned to do so on 14 feb...
coz it's a saturday...
at least sunday no work no class... can rest at home...
hope my plan can work...
inkheart... releasing on 22 jan...
i want to watch this movie...
watched the trailer...
feel it is a nice movie...
planning to go lost world of tambun...
planning to go cameron highlands...
suddenly got lots of plans...
so happy... hehe... :D
14. Spring cleaning - 17/1/09 , 9.46 pm
today helped mom to clean the house again...
tiring...
tomorrow planned to tidy my room...
suddenly thought of something...
so want to search back the things...
cny...
i think i need to split myself into three... not two... coz my beloved cousin, sin pei will be in changlun during cny...
she will be bored to death in changlun... without me... haha...
my beloved cousin... we will meet during feb lar ya... hehe...
will celebrate your birthday also...
now now... need to think what to buy as your birthday present...
recently the rumours are killing me...
don't know since when the rumours started... omg...
i am ignoring the rumours...
but how to make people stop talking about it?
wei... MK... you keep saying about me ar... i will have no market d lar... haha...
will stop here for today... tonight i am busy chatting more than blogging... i also forgot i start blogging at what time... till now also cannot finish...
15. Grandma's house - 18/1/09 , 5.02 pm
today went to grandma's house at changlun...
took some photos...
will upload them when i am back in pg...
i used to love grandma's house when i was young...
there's a nice feeling about the house... the environment... everything...
and i do miss the times during cny... all the aunties and uncles... and my cousins...
besides angpows... cny is the time for all the cousins to meet up...
however... when all of us are getting older... or should i say after grandpa passed away... we seldom gather at grandma's house during cny...
grandma's house is getting more and more quiet during cny...
without all the chattings... all the noise... and all the scoldings by the adults...
i do miss those time when i was young... and would wait for cny to come... to meet my cousins...
me... at the staircase...
used to sit at the staircase and chat with cousins...
the garden...
the swing...
the clock...
me again...i don't know... now is like... cny... hmm... nothing special...
just that it has become a celebration where i can get angpows...
not a celebration that i would be excited of to meet my cousins...
after went to grandma's house my mom suggested to search for laksa and somtam... at where also i am not so sure... just know it is located somewhere near hosba valley resort...
heard from my youngest aunt that the food there is nice...
so my dad went to search...
and thank goodness... we finally found the stall... we bought 2 packets of laksa, one packet of somtam and few pieces of fried chickens...
i love the somtam... taste very nice... one packet wasn't enough...
next time will have to buy more... haha...
took this pict on the way back after bought the laksa...
love the scenery...last night... while chatting... suddenly thought of whity... a soft toy dog that he gave it to me...
i miss whity more than anything else...
i was too used to it beside me every night...
i used to hug it while watching tv...
i used to hug it while walking around the house when i got nothing to do...
i used to hug it while revising for my exams...
i used to hug it when i ......
now i have to get use to it not beside me... although it's been one month it was not on my bed... i still cannot get use to it yet...
it's still with me... in a plastic bag...
ah xian and ah ann said i should keep a few of the things as memories...
i don't know what to do with the things he gave to me...
chatted with a friend just now... he asked me a question... and we were talking about the things that made me feel depressed again...
there's only one thing that will make feel depressed for now...
and i thought i had get over it...
but i still feel hurt...
why i still feel the pain?
i broke my own promise... i told myself i would not cry anymore... i told myself i would not let my tears drop anymore...
y am i so useless?
i hate myself...
can i?
16. Eyes pain - 18/1/09 , 9.39 pm
now...
my eyes...
pain...
and tired...
hate it...
every time after cry...
haiz...
sure will rest earlier tonight...
hope this would be the last time... really last time...
17. Shopping - 19/1/09 , 8.50 pm
today went gurney...
planned to buy present for my beloved cousin but end up bought things for myself...
hehe...
bought a pair of shorts and nail polisher...
i think i should stop buying things d...
i think i spent a lot in one month time...
although i have reasons to spend money so that my mood would be better...
must stop buying things d...
still don't know how much need to be spent on alston's birthday... haiz... i think at least also rm50...
luckily my cousin's birthday is after cny... so at least... can use my angpow money to buy her present... hehe...
my new year clothes are more than enough d...
going to leave one shirt and one shorts in pg... as... it was bought without my mom knowing it... haha... if let her know... she will start to nag me... and i hate when she starts to nag me... she will nag for days... weeks... or even months...
i experienced it before... scared of it d... last year i bought one skirt for my birthday... then i told her about it... she nagged me til now... said the skirt i bought was too short... haiz... swt...
i can predict what she will say if she knew that i bought shorts...
today really not feeling well...
last night didn't sleep well...
don't know i really fell asleep last night or not...
slept quite late...
can't really sleep...
although my eyes were painful and i felt so tired...
was on the bed for hours...
same like the night before...
had difficulty in falling asleep also...
hmm.... what makes me can't fall asleep?
hate it...
tomorrow i don't have any class to attend... will be at home... need to search for things to do...
oh ya... almost forgot... i do have assignment to do... tomorrow must remember to do... hehe...
hope i will have a good sleep tonight... i don't want to be awake for hours on the bed... wondering why i am awake...
18. I am still awake - 20/1/09 , 12.15 am
| i kept repeating the song again and again... i should be on the bed right now... but then... here i am... still in front of my laptop... still here... blogging... this is a new song... sang by Fish Leong... title is 'Stop Crying For Him' 别再为他流泪 梁静茹 你走了太久一定很累 他错了不该你来面对 离开他就好 就算了 心情很干脆 他其实没有那么绝对 远一点你就看出真伪 离开他不等于你的世界会崩溃 转个弯你还能飞 就别再为他流泪 别再让他操控你的伤悲 就算有一点愚昧一点点后悔 也不要太狼狈 他不值得你的泪 把那遗憾留在大雨的街 你曾在迷失的旅途中盲目追 以后为自己醉 以后管他是谁 每段感情都非常珍贵 他的好你就放在心扉 记得有个人曾让你那样的心醉 你笑了照亮夜幕的黑 什么梦都不比你的美 多少年以后想起他还有些体会 那些你已无所谓 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ha3SWEI0LDc i stared at my blog for some time... don't know what to write anymore... still listening to the song... the lyric... is telling me things... that i knew... but still learning... looking through the lyric again and again... ya... i am tired d... really very tired... mentally very tired... nobody will understand my feelings... coz they are not me... and they won't be me... i am the only one who understand myself the most... i am not thinking much... really... but the sadness... the pain... is still with me... where is my happiness? did i left it somewhere? have i forgotten it already? i tried hard to be happy... really... i hate the current me... am i pretending to be happy? am i pretending i am fine? am i pretending to my friends? or it is just me? who is the one... who is trying to lie to my own self... that i am happy... that i am fine... am i the one who is lying to myself that i had get over this? i told myself... one month should be more than enough for me to get over it... but i proved myself wrong... one month is not enough... my blog... i guess... the sorrow is back again... trust me... i really don't hope my blog is full of sorrow... it's 1.40 am now... seriously... i need to be on the bed right now... |
today went out with riche and yee teng...
we went gurney...
yee teng miss the gurney food court's claypot tomyam noodle...
went to eat big apple donuts...
went to A & W also...
took a few of riche's 'tam chiak' photos... but i won't upload here... haha... i was warned by him...
pity the donut... riche ar... don't waste food next time....jpg)
took this pict at A & W...i think we took a lot of picts... but we deleted a lot also...
haha...
yee teng and i deleted the most...
riche was not allowed to delete any of the picts... coz those picts were so funny...
went for dinner at friends' house tonight...
had a nice chat with them...
didn't meet up with them for quite some time also...
friends said i looked fine...
but one of them said i didn't really get over it yet...
maybe i need more time...
just now received one call from a secondary school friend...
they will have a small gathering on the first day of cny...
sob... sob...
i won't be able to attend...
i didn't meet them for years d...
miss them so much...
it's 1 a.m now...
had a chat with ah xian...
and i felt depressed again...
but i didn't cry anymore...
although i feel like crying...
i am listening to the song again...
stop crying for him...
i think this will be the song that i will be keep listening whenever i feel like crying...
this song will be a reminder to myself...
20. Farlim pasar malam - 21/1/09 , 11.19 pm
today i forgot my class was at 130 p.m
was busy doing assignment...
thought the class was at 2 p.m
looked at the timetable only realise i got half an hour to prepare myself for the class...
quickly bathed then rushed to class...
tonight went to farlim pasar malam...
was forced by an ann...
i don't want to go out at first... coz i was feeling a bit lazy...
need to wash clothes... ended up i only get to wash my clothes at 12 midnight...
i think the last time i went to farlim pasar malam was... erm... i also can't remember d...
i just know that i didn't go pasar malam for a very long time d...
bought one hair clip...
hehe...
tomorrow going back d...
so have to think what to bring back...
21. KL... here i come - 23/1/09 , 10.08 am
i am going kl later... in another hour...
will be in kl for almost one week...
i wonder how my one week will be...
yesterday went to gurney redbox with ah xian...
my class was cancelled coz my lecturer was absent...
had my lunch in redbox...
took a few picts...
will upload them after cny when i go back to pg...
i think yesterday was the first time i took picts with ah xian...
i told her after cny will ask her out...
after that we went shopping...
ah xian wanted to search for new year shoes...
we went to Nichii... we both tested one shirt... i tested yellow colour... ah xian tested black colour... the shirt was nice... but it was still under our consideration... coz it's a little bit expensive... i don't have any yellow colour shirt... and i looked nice on it... should i buy? i feel like buying!!
ah xian said if she wants to buy it then she will go buy today...
maybe i should go kl and try the shirt again... see what my mom says about the shirt...
if she says ok... then she will pay for me... hehe...
last night had headache... haiz...
after packed my stuffs i went to sleep d...
slept quite early last night...
i think coz i was lack of sleep recently... swt...
cny coming d... i don't want to get sick...
this morning felt better... but still have a little bit of headache...
later must sleep in the car d...
must drink more water also...
aiks...
going out soon d...
have to stop here d...
i think... i will only update my blog when i am back in pg...
will update my readers what i have done during the one week in kl...
so during this one week... don't miss me too much oh... hehe...
happy cny to all my friends...
22. back at AS - 30/1/09 , 7.36 pm
i just came back from kl last night...
what i did in kl for cny?
besides taking lots of picts... is still taking lots of picts... haha... will upload all the picts when i am back in pg...
25/01/09
this is a day for reunion... we had reunion lunch and dinner on this day...
my mom cooked nice food... hehe...
went to mydin and carrefour for last minute shopping after lunch... need to buy ingredients for steamboat the next day...
at night my youngest aunt and cousin came to my bro's house... after dinner we gambled... that night my luck wasn't good enough... i lost RM4. didn't lost much lar actually... but still lost money ma...
my mom cooked all of them... hehe....jpg)
took this pict in carrefour...
' lou sang ' after dinner...26/01/09
the first day of cny... i woke up early to help mom to prepare for the steamboat... after lunch we went to visit eldest aunt... met cousin who came back from s'pore... and her lovely little girl... i think i didn't manage to take her pict... or did i actually forgot to take her photos?
after that we went to youngest aunt's house... gambled at her house... haha... luck was quite good so i won RM17.
we had steamboat for dinner too...
guess wat? 1st day of cny was my eldest sis-in-law's b'day... eldest bro bought chocolate indulgence from secret recipe for her...
a friend called from overseas when i was about to fall asleep... and we talked for more than one hour i think... and after end call... i don't feel sleepy anymore... aiks...
the steamboat...
my new year look...
my earrings & bracelet...
my new year shoes...
my nephew....jpg)
chocolate indulgence...27/01/09
2nd day of cny... woke up late coz slept late...
after lunch we went to visit third aunt... we gambled there also... cny is all about gambling huh? luck was not bad too and i won RM7.
had a chat wif wan yong, my another same age cousin... i really seldom have chance to really chat with her...was updating each other with our lives... and we had dinner at her house...
after went back to my bro's house... we went for a walk... with 2nd bro, 2nd sis-in-law and my mom... went to buy ice cream at the mini mart and enjoyed my chocolate ice cream beside the pool...
that night... we were discussing what name should be given to my nephew which will come to this world in march... had a great discussion... erm... should say it's a funny discussion... coz all of us came out with all sorts of funny funny names... ended up don't know should give what name also...
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me...
edited by su-yan...28/01/09
went to mid valley... woke up early in the morning and followed my 2nd bro there... didn't really shop much coz don't really have much things to buy d...
went to walk around...
went to Nichii also... coz want to show my mom the yellow colour shirt i tested in gurney... but i can't find it anywhere in the shop... felt a bit disappointed... i want the yellow shirt !!
legs tired... coz was wearing heels... i tortured myself... sob...
lunch and dinner was in mid valley also... lunch went to food garden... dinner went to dragon-i...
carried my nephew... he wanted me to carry him... he is heavy... and will get heavier and heavier... i wonder the next trip i go will i be able to carry him?
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mid valley megamall...
mid valley the gardens
guitar collection...
this guitar cost RM15000...
dinner at dragon-i
my cute nephew again...
my dessert...29/01/09
today going back to AS d... woke up early to pack my things...
had lunch before we departed... went to Tai Thong Imperial China... there was lion dance performance when we were there... it was interesting...
after lunch... we went back to AS... as usual... i took a nap in the car...
reached AS then went for dinner... i wanted to eat ' char hor fun' but the stall not open... haiz... so had dinner quite late... coz went to search for food... as most of the chinese hawkers still in holiday mood... tiring day... tiring week...
the jam...
took this pict in the car... love the sky...30/01/09
today went out for lunch... had a small gathering...
those who went : ah ann, siew khim, jun huai, li ching, ah chang, kean hooi, ah jiet & his wife... ( hui see didn't meet us... she owe me angpao... haha... )
we went to spring leaf... today was the first time i went there... took some picts...
environment there was quite good... but the food... so so only lar...
after that we went to siew khim's house sing k... for FREE... haha...
it's fun meeting friends during cny... especially those only come back to AS during cny...
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soursop & kiwi...
ah ann & me...
pasta...
ah ann, me, li ching & jun huai...
group photo...
group photo part 2...siew khim asked me to join her to australia... but don't know when yet... and i agreed... haha... it will be fun to go holiday... i suppose...
and i am still planning for my NZ holiday maker visa thing...
and i told my dad to bring me to johor and s'pore for holiday end of the year...
all my plans... hope they can really work...
i am going back to pg on sun... with ah ann... she is fetching me back...
i told her i don't feel like going back... she had the same feeling too...
i don't know why... there's still a strong feeling inside me... that i want to leave pg... i don't want to go back there anymore... i don't want to stay in pg anymore...
is not that i hate pg...
some said i was trying to escape... am i?
i just don't know why i still feel that way...
maybe that is what i want since last time... just that last time i chose not to leave... b'coz i thought it was worth not leaving... now... i realised it is not worth...
i cannot change what had happened... but i can change those that has not yet happen...
maybe i should be more selfish next time... to do what i really what to do... to do what i think i want to do...
some ppl are just too selfish that they hurt the one who loves them and sacrifice for them just b'coz they want more freedom... just b'coz they want to do what they like...
it's 1.45 am now... and i need to be on bed d...
23. 31/01/09 - 31/1/09 , 11.26 pm
today went to my grandma's house at changlun...
went to collect angpow from my grandma...
after that went to visit my eldest uncle at jitra...
received another angpow... hehe...
after that we went to buy somtam and laksa and fried chicken again... hehe... for dinner... really very nice and very full...
i think i gained weight back this cny... ate a lot during cny... haiz... waste my effort to lose weight for the past few weeks...
i was joking with my mom... said i don't want to go back home for one month... then i will lose weight d...
hate nia... take pict time face looked round d... haiz... need to continue with my diet plan d when i am back in pg...
i want to watch Inkheart !!
although yee teng told me the movie is not so nice...
but then... i still want to watch it...
am just waiting for a friend to tell me when free to watch...
and i want to watch sunrise on 14 feb no matter what also...
the same friend is willing to accompany me if i really want to go see...
i am glad that i have such a nice friend... although we both are not really very close...
going back pg tomorrow...
although my class is on wednesday...
i really don't feel like going back...
the feelings came every time i come home...
i still not yet pack my things...
will pack tomorrow morning...
don't have much things to pack d i suppose....
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